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I, the Reluctant Speaker

I recall reading some years ago that there are three fears in life:

1. Fear of public speaking

2. Fear of dying, and

3. Fear of dying while public speaking

Cheeky, I know. But, this is exactly how I felt for many years – until recently.

As a professional communicator, I have spent two decades in the field of public relations. I also spent those twenty years hiding from professional public speaking. A big reason was fear (“terror” is a more accurate word), but not all: I simply did not enjoy getting up in front of people and being the centre of attention. Period.

Now, anytime I tell someone about this, they look at me like I have 8 horns growing out of my head. Apparently, I come across as being extroverted (like extroverts are supposed to enjoy public speaking), but, truthfully, inside I feel more like an introvert.

On my recent trip to Isla Mujeres, Mexico,  I had some time to reflect (not much, though, as it was packed with activity, plus I got a horrible chest cold). I believe my fear of public speaking stemmed from my first public address in elementary school when I stood up in front of the class and completely forgot my speech. As I stood there as blank as a sheet of paper, the entire class burst into laughter (hey, I would too!). Feeling like the village idiot, I vowed to never let that happen again.

So, I hid from it.

Well, fast-forward to my twenties and thirties, when I worked in the PR agency world for a number of years, I would find any excuse I could to get out of doing major presentations because I was far too nervous (I would call in sick, or conveniently have a scheduling conflict, or come up with some other excuse). I would have rather hammered toothpicks underneath my nails.

In later years, I took a teaching position at a university with one goal in mind: to get over my fear. It helped, but I still did not enjoy getting up in front of people to speak.

So, I still hid from it.

In my relatively new role as an internet TV talk show host, I had to get over my fear of being in front of the camera. Since launching my new career, I continually get asked to speak to groups, on a variety of topics. And I’ve been saying “yes” – willingly.

I realized my reluctance over the years did not have as much to do with speaking in front of a group as it did about having the right topic to speak about. I just needed the right topic and, vavoom

I recall one of my teachers saying “if you have a gift, it is your responsibility to share it with the world” (thank you, John Demartini). When I got clear that I had a message — listen to your heart’s desires — I realized that this one of the most important aspects of life to me: to listen and follow my heart’s desires — no matter what. And because that is the thing I want deeply, it is also the greatest challenge I have been given. Why? So I strive to learn…and share…

Even having written a book on the subject: “The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity,” I still have not yet mastered it.

But what I do know, and what I have a lot of practice doing, is striving to follow my heart, getting over the fear to do so, and finding the tools to help me get back on my path when I veer off.

I believe I have been given two gifts: 1. Ability to communicate, and 2. A message worthy of sharing. I also believe it is my responsibility to share the wisdom I have gleaned, including the mistakes and failures. Besides, it’s all a lesson.

When I attended the We Move Forward 2012 International Women’s Day event, I gave a few introductory words and shared a story worthy of hearing, which I share here in this video (below).

My point is this: if you have a fear of public speaking, just know this: so do I.  If I can do it, so can you.

I, the Reluctant Speaker….

© Shannon Skinner 2012

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1 week ago

Shannon Skinner
I am hosting a tour of India for extraordinary women, in partnership with Sunspots Holidays, this September 2024.Join me as we explore India's stunning architecture, such as the renowned Taj Mahal, royal palaces and ancient forts. Discover Indian culinary delights, cultural places, authentic textiles and learn about everyday way of life of Indians, including yoga, through a female lens.We will explore 5 cities, as well as India's breathtaking desert region, Rajasthan. As well, we are now offering an *optional* tour extension of Varanasi, one of the oldest cities in the world and the spiritual capital of India, after the completion of our main tour, adding a 6th city to our itinerary.I am excited to share with you the India I fell in love with. Join me!🔸women's tour🔸Sept. 16-27, 2024🔸12 days/11 nights - 5 cities🔸Delhi-Agra-Jaipur-Jodphur-Udaipur🔸Optional Varanasi tour extension post-tour (2 days/1 night)🔸small group Presented by: Extraordinary Women TV. Book this exclusive offer now.For details, visit: ShannonSkinner.com.Contact: info@shannonskinner.com. *Tour can only be purchased with Sunspots Holidays (TICO registration 1030981).#shannonskinner #extraordinarywomentv #travel #india #toursforwomen #shannontravels ... See MoreSee Less
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3 weeks ago

Shannon Skinner
Photos from Indo Canada Chamber of Commerce's post ... See MoreSee Less
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3 weeks ago

Shannon Skinner
I recently had the opportunity to speak at a travel industry event, “Evolving Tourism Landscape in India,” hosted by the India High Commissioner in Ottawa and India's Consul General in Toronto.I spoke about my northeast India travels and why a Bengal Tiger is calling me back.Photo: Indo Canada Chamber of Commerce (thank you) ... See MoreSee Less
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4 weeks ago

Shannon Skinner
India is one of the most fascinating destinations in the world. Take it from me, a travel writer.This September, I am hosting a guided tour of India for extraordinary women, in partnership with Sunspots Holidays. Join me as we explore India's stunning architecture, such as the renowned Taj Mahal, royal palaces and ancient forts. Discover Indian culinary delights, cultural places, authentic textiles and learn about everyday way of life of Indians, including yoga, through a female lens.We will explore 5 cities, as well as India's breathtaking desert region, Rajasthan.I am excited to share with you the India I fell in love with. Join me!🔸women's tour🔸Sept. 16-27, 2024🔸12 days/11 nights - 5 cities🔸Delhi-Agra-Jaipur-Jodphur-Udaipur🔸small group Presented by: Extraordinary Women TV. Book this exclusive offer now.For details, visit: ShannonSkinner.com.Contact: info@shannonskinner.com. *Tour can only be purchased with Sunspots Holidays (TICO registration 1030981).#shannonskinner #extraordinarywomentv #travel #india #toursforwomen #shannontravels ... See MoreSee Less
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