Will you be my Valentine?
Valentine’s Day is the day you either love or dread, depending on your relationship status, beliefs and income levels – and maybe how much you love chocolate. In years past, I have written about the importance of focusing on self-love and self-care on Valentine’s Day, regardless of your relationship status, rather than buying into the commercialization of the holiday, something I wholeheartedly believe.
Delicious Swiss chocolate truffles I discovered in Geneva, Switzerland
But on this Valentine’s Day, as a woman who is stubbornly independent and has bucked most traditions for most of her adult life, I feel something different. Of course I still believe in focusing on self-love and self-care on Valentine’s Day, as it is good for us to do so on every day of the year. On this holiday, though, I wish I had a Valentine. I have had wonderful Valentines shared with partners in years past, just as I have had several Valentine holidays alone. I have experienced both sides of the equation. So let’s just chalk up this fresh view to a case of a swinging pendulum.
This holiday, I wish I had a romantic Valentine who lives and breathes romance, who would send me the biggest most beautiful bouquet of roses, and who would show up at my door with a box of chocolates. Make that champagne-filled Swiss chocolate truffles, which I have been dreaming of since I tasted them on a recent trip to Geneva, Switzerland. I wish I had that Valentine who would fly me to an exotic island for the weekend and take me out for a romantic dinner at the most posh fine-dining restaurant, and maybe even surprise me with a little gift, like a strand of pearls. Make that Jackie Kennedy pearls. You know, like they do on, say, the Young & the Restless.
But, that is a fantasy and not my reality (at least not this year). And this is the problem with Valentine’s Day. It creates unrealistic fantasies and expectations. When these fantasies or expectations are not met, we get upset, hurt and even depressed. We become sad that we are alone, single, or not able to be with someone that would make the day feel complete or special.
I am reminded of the Law of the Many and the One, which I have learned through my work over the years with my mentor, Dr. John Demartini. It goes something like this: when you have the one, you want the many; when you have the many, you want the one. Take for instance, when you are married to the one, you fantasize about being single and available to the many; and when you’re single and tired of cycling through the many, you dream of being married to the one.
For this Valentine’s Day holiday, I thought, for fun, I would apply that law…
So today, instead of feeling sorry for myself because I don’t have that ONE special Valentine, I am going to reach out to all my MANY friends and ask: will you be my Valentine?
Love and light,
Shannon
Shannon Skinner is on a journey of following her heart and creating change in the world. She is a broadcaster, inspirational speaker, author and writer on many subjects including travel. Her inspiring keynotes are uplifting and transforming lives around the globe. To book her as a speaker for your next conference, contact shannon (at) shannonskinner.com. Watch her interviews with extraordinary women at www.ExtraordinaryWomenTV.com.
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