Learn to ask quality questions
Madeira
The quality of questions you ask yourself determines the quality of your life.
Newton is said to have discovered gravity by observing an apple falling from a branch of a tree while at the same time noticing the moon hanging in the sky. He wondered why the apple fell and not the moon. A remarkable question that lead to a greater understanding of our universe.
Okay, so not everyone is Newton asking questions that will help us understand universal laws, but we can learn to ask quality questions to do something that inspires us, get ourselves out of a pickle – or transform our lives and ultimately live an extraordinary life.
The difference between a quality question and a regular question lies in where it comes from: your heart. Zeroing-in on what is truly important in your heart to create, whether it is personal, business or other, is the first step. Then you ask yourself questions that are derived from or connected to your values.
We all live with a set of values. Some of those values are more important than others. For instance, an entrepreneur will have a high value on business and will spend a lot of time learning and growing in that area. A health expert will have a high value on wellness and will spend considerable time focussed on having a healthy lifestyle, whatever that takes. A mom will have a high value on her children, and she will put much time and energy into raising her kids, such as their education, food and clothing. An investor will put an enormous time and energy into understanding finances, the markets, etc.
For me, I have a high value in higher learning, travel, writing and media. There are other areas that are important to me, such as health and relationships, of course, and the priorities change, depending on what is going on in my life and the world around me. Right now, travel is not possible, so that area has been replaced by learning in other subjects that interest me, and other things.
One thing I know for certain that to live an extraordinary life begins with a) getting clear on your values and then b) asking quality questions.
Here are some examples of how you can turn a general question into a quality question:
- How can I earn more money?
Quality question: How can I make more money than every by doing what I love and getting paid handsomely for it?
- How do I stop making the same mistake?
Quality question: How is this (fill in the blank) helping me get what I deeply desire?
- Why am I failing at xx?
Quality question: How is this setback helping me reach my goals in the bigger picture?
The bottomline is to link your questions with your highest values and turn the question into a way of moving you forward and finding answers that will inspire you, help with clarity, and overall living a quality life.
The quality of questions you ask yourself determines the quality of your life. So ask quality questions – of yourself and of others.
*Photo: Madeira beach
**This blog post is an excerpt from my book, The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity. All rights reserved. No copying or reuse permitted.
This is the second part of my How to live an extraordinary life series.
Shannon Skinner is a broadcaster, speaker, writer and author of The Whispering Heart, Your Inner Guide to Creativity and host/producer of ExtraordinaryWomenTV.com. She speaks around the world about her message: follow your heart, not matter what.
How to unlock your creative power and manifest your dreams
Each one of us has the power to create whatever we desire, whether it is a relationship, dream career or starting a new hobby. We can all make our dreams come true if we know the secret: unlocking our creative power. When we unlock our power, we can begin to create the life we want – one that brings us joy and fulfilment.
“While many people think there is such a thing as a ‘creative type,’ that is nothing more than a myth,” says Shannon Skinner, author of The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity, a practical guide to unlocking your creative power, turning dreams into reality and living with joy. “We are all born creative and we use our creativity in our day-to-day lives, whether it’s developing a business plan, planting a garden or simply deciding what recipe to make for a family dinner.”
Ms. Skinner provides seven ways that you can unlock your creative power:
1.Ignite Inspiration – Inspiration is the gasoline of life. Discover what inspires you for it fuels the drive to dream up ideas and new ways of experiencing life.
2. Be an Inspiring Person – When you are inspiring, others will become inspired. It’s catchy! Here’s how you can be inspiring: live with an open heart by finding more and more gratitude; and believe in yourself by increasing self-worth.
3. Surround Yourself with Challengers and Champions – Look around you at the people you surround yourself with. What is their energy like? To unlock your creative power, it is good to be surrounded by people who support and/or challenge you – but stay away from Fire-Breathing Dragons, who are negative, and Energy Vampires that will suck the energy right out of you.
4. Give Your Life a Shake – Change is good for us, we grow. Sometimes we need to turn life on its ear in order to be more creative. Here are some ways to shake up your life: be open to change; mix up your daily routine now and again; and pack a bag and travel.
5. Live with Courage, Take Risks – No risk, no reward. Risk-taking is directly linked to our self-worth and courage.
6. Increase Vitality – Pay attention to your vitality and health. The more vitality you have, the more your can swing your dreams into action. Here are some ways to do that: reduce stress; get a balanced perspective; exercise regularly; pay attention to diet; and get some sleep.
7. It’s All a Learning Experience – There is no such thing as mistakes, there are only lessons. Let go of the fear of making a mistake, and adopt the perspective that everything we do is a lesson in life.
*Theses are excerpts from Shannon Skinner’s book, The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity.
Copyright Shannon Skinner 2004-2020. All rights reserved. NO COPYING PERMITTED.
edited: July 29, 2020
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Shannon Skinner is a Toronto-based writer, broadcaster, international speaker and author of The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity. Watch her interviews with extraordinary women: ExtraordinaryWomenTV.com.
Travel the world through all your senses
Ever since I was the age of 20, when after graduating from university and moving to the U.K., I have had perpetual wanderlust. My father once called me a rolling stone (as in a rolling stone gathers no moss) and a dear friend refers to me as a tumbleweed, though I’m not sure that sticks. What keeps me interested in seeing more of the world is that travel enables me to experience life through all of my senses, and I believe this has made me a well-rounded, better person.
Drummers perform at Rongali Bihu festival in Assam ’15. Yep, I’m a groupie.
Our lives are enriched by experiencing the sights, sounds, tastes, scents and textures of other cultures, as well as our own. Food, drink, music, dance, sports are all ways we can experience culture. By experiencing different cultures, we build bridges to connect and understand one another. We can only appreciate different cultures when we make a choice to experience them.
From my travels around the world, I have danced with the tribes in northeastern India (Assam) and saw living root bridges, remarkable natural architecture in the jungle, which was like stepping into a science fiction movie. I learned how to make tasty chocolate pots in Geneva, Switzerland. In Scotland, I traced my Stewart family roots, from the line of the noble Stewarts, which took me across the country to see castles, estates and farms.
I recall the pungent spices bellowing from the food stalls in Bangkok, and the salty sea air brushing my nose in the Caribbean. The image of the blue sea against crisp white buildings of Greece keeps me longing to return. In Venice, the taste of Italian ice cream while sitting in the piazza and watching beautiful people pass by. In Prague, the enchanting classical music in palaces and churches. The sweet voices of tribal children in northern Thailand as performed a traditional song and dance around a campfire. The roar of chants and cheers of passionate soccer fans in a stadium in England. The touch of the delicate woolen sweaters in the shops of Dublin, and the coolness of the stone wall of the oldest church in Scandinavia.
I remember swimming in salty springs in Turkey and dancing like a maniac in the clubs of Tenerife, and savouring the taste of fresh dates in Morocco. And hearing the monkeys playing in the trees in the earning mornings in Costa Rica gave me a case of the giggles.
Traveling the world has truly enriched my life. How has it enriched yours? I would love to hear from you. Leave me a comment or tweet to me at @Shannon_Skinner.
Read more about my travels at Shannon’s Travel Bag.
Some of this article is a re-purposed short excerpt from my book, “The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity.”
Shannon Skinner is on a journey of following her heart and creating change in the world. She is a broadcaster, inspirational speaker, author and writer on the subjects of change and travel. Her inspiring keynotes are uplifting and transforming lives around the globe. To book her as a speaker for your next conference or professional development day, contact shannon (at) shannonskinner.com. Watch her interviews with extraordinary women at www.ExtraordinaryWomenTV.com.
Follow me on Twitter: @Shannon_Skinner
Instagram: shannon.skinner
Web: www.ShannonSkinner.com
We must do more to support Canadian artists
About 50,000 years ago, a creative explosion occurred in our human evolution when Homo sapiens suddenly developed new skills and forms of self-expression. They began painting, created music and designed musical instruments. They made decorative jewelry from ostrich eggshells, fashioned clothing and invented advanced tools. This “dawn of culture,” according to authors Richard Klein and Blake Edgar, is when humans began to display abstract thinking and develop culture and art, and is considered to be the most significant cultural event in human history.
Symbolic thinking – that is, thinking and communicating through abstract symbols — is the foundation of arts, music, language, mathematics and science.
(Art courtesy of Julie Himel)
Fast-forward to the 21st century, human beings have come a long way in our creative arts since decorating ostrich eggshells, and one thing is for certain: artists make our world a colourful and interesting place. Innately curious and inquisitive, artists create beautiful, dramatic, thoughtful forms of art that please and engage the human eye and ear, or get us to think — or move our bodies. Artists also play an important role in society because they document history in the making. Think of all the artifacts and works – ancient and modern — that are in museums and institutions around the globe.
And yet, given their importance, many artists — from painters to filmmakers to dancers to writers — are still today unable to survive economically from their art alone. Often times, they are asked, almost expected, to provide their talents or skills for next to nothing, or nothing at all. As Jenn Goodwin, Toronto-based dance artist and programmer for Scotiabank’s Nuit Blanche, put it: “You would not ask a plumber to give their services for free.”
As a nation, we do not support them enough.
Historically, artists have always had to rely on personal patrons, like a rich uncle. Today, we are fortunate in this country that our governments have become larger-scale patrons with their various funding and resources for arts and culture, but the arts is always vulnerable to cuts and economic down-turns. Fortunately, we do have a number of philanthropists who support the Canadian arts, such as The Honourable Margaret McCain, who I interviewed last season.
And so, this season, on my show Extraordinary Women TV, I wanted to bring out the stories of local independent artists, the challenges they face and how they get their support to continue doing their art. I wanted to play a role, albeit a small one in the bigger picture, in advocating for them.
So I went on-location over the summer to various art shows, such as the Toronto Outdoor Art Exhibition and Distillery District, and visited galleries. As I walked around with my cameraperson and spoke with these artists, I realized they are truly extraordinary — not because of status or financial wealth, but because it takes bravery to not only create art, but to share your art with the world. As Toronto-based artist, Karen Taylor, says: “As an artist, you feel naked and exposed.”
Artist Julie Himel, an award-winning Toronto painter and mother of a young child, has managed to find support to do her art full-time and balance it with having a family. On a personal level, during difficult times, she turned to her art as a means of healing, as so many artists do. Her work, which is nothing short of magnificent, can be found in public and private collections internationally. “If you keep your eye on beauty and simplicity, life can be a lot happier,” says Himel.
Abstract artist, Kate Taylor, works out of her studio home in Toronto and her art appears in private collections around the world. Blending art with business, she spearheads The Artists’ Network, an organization geared to helping and supporting visual artists create sustainable businesses and professions.
And so, if I have a take-away from filming this season’s show it is this: Toronto has many remarkable and talented artists, women and men, who make our city a colourful and interesting place. Their art has value — and so do they. My wish is to see many more Canadian businesses, and those with deep pockets and rich resources, taking a greater role in supporting independent artists. Surely today we are much more awake than we were at the dawn of culture 50,000 years ago. The stereotype of the “starving artist” should no longer linger in our collective consciousness.
Check out my coverage at the Toronto Art Exhibition on my YouTube Channel.
On the topic of creativity, check out my book, The Whispering Heart, Your Inner Guide to Creativity.
How to push your ideas to the max
Some years ago, I read an article that quoted an advertising guru who said: “An idea has no value unless you do something with it.” Although I no longer recall the name of the adman, I have never forgotten his words. In a way, they began to transform my life.
The “land of ideas” is a place I have come to love and feel great comfort. Though recently, a dear friend of mine called it my perpetual state of “idea euphoria,” which I suppose is, em, a polite way of saying my head is constantly in the clouds. Guilty. I live in an ideas world, and made a living for years by creating and selling ideas. What I have learned, though, is that ideas can remain scribbled on paper, in our computers, or tucked away in our brains forever. While there is value in having gone through the creative process to dream-up an idea (the creative process is a journey), there is even more value when our ideas become something real under the sun.
All too often when we dream-up concepts we stop at the first solution, but if we keep going and exhaust all possibilities, we never know where it will take us. How far could you push an idea – let’s say for a business or creative project — and exhaust all possibilities and make it bigger than big?
For me, I knew I wanted to tell inspiring success stories of women to inspire other women to follow their dreams. The idea simply began with “how do I harness my skills to help women tell these stories,” which eventually lead to the creation of my television series, Extraordinary Women TV.
If you are looking to push your ideas to the max, here are some ways to help you along:
- Get Different Angles: Take an idea and look at it from every possible angle. Flip it upside-down, turn it inside-out. Get several different angles on an idea. The way to do this is to examine the idea based on a variety of perspectives.
- Map Out Your Vision: I like “mind mapping” to explore concepts, and plan and prepare presentations and speeches. This method is a brilliant visual way of developing ideas. Visually “map out” your idea or vision on paper to expand and explore your vision, and you will make wonderful connections. The possibilities for our ideas are infinite.
- Brainstorm: The quintessential adman and pioneer of brainstorming, Alex Osborne, once said: “It’s easier to tone down a wild idea than to think up a new one.” Brainstorming is an effective and efficient way to generate ideas and further develop existing ones. Do not let your ideas live alone in your mind. Toss around ideas with friends, family members or colleagues in a “power think tank.” See how your ideas grow…and how quickly.
- Get Into The Head of Someone You Admire: It may sound corny, but use your imagination to jump into the head of a mentor, role model or anyone else you admire. Look at your idea through their point of view. What would they say about it?
- Technology as a Creative Tool: Love it or not, we live in a wired, technological world and technology itself can be used as a creative tool. Digital pianos, cameras and computers are all advanced technological tools used for creative purposes. Graphic designers, animators, writers, publishers, filmmakers, marketers and photographers all rely on technology. I wrote this article using technology. Technology can also be used to explore and expand creative thinking. The Internet is an enormously powerful and fast means of exploring and doing research. Look into the various software programs available to help generate and develop ideas. Depending on your interests and needs, there are a range of programs on the market to assist with virtually anything creative.
- Discover Quick Ways to Generate New Ideas: If you need to start from scratch, here are a few ways to quickly generate new ideas.
8 Quick ways of dreaming-up new ideas:
- Gather ideas from real-life stories by reading newspapers, magazines and blogs, and watching the news.
- Think of two or three people in your life and link them in unusual ways to create fictional stories or come up with What If scenarios.
- Read a classic novel and turn it into a modern story, either literature, film or radio; a story that is relevant for today’s audiences.
- Write down the dreams you have while sleeping – good and bad – explore and expand them.
- Look at your own life with a fresh new twist, one that inspires you.
- Think of a big lesson you had in life. Expand on it. Look at it from various perspectives. What is the moral of the story? What can others learn from it?
- See the world through the eyes of a child and develop your ideas from that vantage point.
- Recall your “firsts” in your adolescent years, like the first time you drove a car, got a job, made love, travelled alone, got a “pad” with a roommate.
A highly creative mind maximizes all the possibilities for ideas. By pushing the boundaries of our minds our ideas grows. Whether our ideas take off or flame out, consider it a valuable learning experience. When we push our ideas to the max, just by engaging in the creative process itself, our wings lift us up and take us to places we have never been. And we learn about ourselves along the way.
Modified excerpt from Shannon Skinner’s book, “The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity.”
Shannon Skinner is an author, speaker and the host and producer of “Extraordinary Women TV.”
copyright Shannon Skinner 2013. All rights reserved. Copying or distribution in any way strictly prohibited.
10 money savers to fund your creative dream
Do you have a desire to change your career or start a business, or do something else that speaks to your heart, but the fear of how you will pay bills while you make the transition stops you in your tracks? This is something I have experienced and has probably been the biggest obstacle for me to fulfill all of my dreams. That fear about whether or not money will come in the door can be all-consuming and, worst, block us creatively. We start doubting ourselves and begin questioning the value of our dreams. Or, we outright quit pursuing our dreams because we do not believe they can, or ever will, pay the bills.
I’ve been there more than I’d like. But, after years of trial and error, failure and success, I have come to realize that an empowering way of living our lives is by getting paid to do what we love. It may seem obvious, but it is really one of the keys to having a fulfilled life.
A shift began to happen for me when I started to look at money as simply an “energy system.” Energy flows where attention goes. Whatever you put your energy into, it will return a reward. If you believe in yourself, you can find a way to earn a living from your creativity. At the end of the day, we have to pay bills. At least if we enjoy earning a living by doing something we love to do, it takes the focus off “gotta pay the bills” to something more inspiring – like living a full life.
So if you need to save more money to make a career transition or get your creative project off the ground,or complete it, try these money saving ideas:
10 money savers to fund your creative dreams:
- Make money by using your talents in a variety of ways. Explore every possible means of earning a living by what you love to do and what you are good at. There may be areas you have not even thought of or yet discovered that could be lucrative.
- Sell assets. Even if it is just to tide you over until you earn a living doing what you love. You might need to inject some cash to kick start your dream; so if you have assets, now might be the time to take advantage of it and then build up your assets again once you are in a position to do so.
- Rent an apartment or house. Home ownership is costly and you might be able to save money by renting a place. If you have a property and decide to sell it, be sure to invest the money to make more money. Depending on where you live and your lifestyle, the case may be the opposite, where you might want to buy instead of renting.
- Make lifestyle changes. Even if it is a minor adjustment, it might be what you need to let go of old ways of thinking and habits that no longer serve you, enabling you to move forward in a new direction. Sometimes a complete lifestyle change or paradigm shift is required.
- Shop at dollar stores. This is especially important for materials such as stationary supplies, as well as basic household items. Even if you are saving a few dollars here and there, it is still saving money you would otherwise be spending on the same items elsewhere.
- Check-out community centres for free courses. You might discover all sorts of fun and interesting courses you can take at your local community centre that are free-of-charge, if you seek them out.
- Watch for junk mail special offers. Pay attention to junk mail and e-mails offering specials. You would be surprised what you can save by taking notice of that annoying junk you get.
- Start a creative dream bank account. For every paycheque you get automatically put a portion of it, even if it’s 10 per cent, into a “creative dream” bank account or mutual fund, or some other investment. Watch it build up as you dream about what you can do with the earnings at a future date, which will keep you inspired to save.
- Limit spending on meals and entertainment. I personally don’t believe a strict budget works, but if you pull back on areas that are not necessary or could be put on the back burner for a time when you are making money again doing what you love, it might be a wise accounting decision.
- Spend according to your values. If we spend our money on what’s most important to us, it serves us well. If you value education, then you can’t go wrong by investing in developing your mind and expanding your knowledge. If you value fashion, then it is important to you to look good, and that will impact how you feel and your energy
Modified excerpt from “The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity,” by Shannon Skinner.
Shannon Skinner is an author, speaker, consultant and host/producer of Extraordinary Women TV.
© Shannon Skinner 2013. All rights reserved.
Shannon speaks at Women in Business Luncheon (VIDEO)
I was recently the keynote speaker at the Women in Business Luncheon honouring International Women’s Week, hosted by the Newmarket Chamber of Commerce and sponsored by RBC.
The event was livestreamed by CanadaOne.com. Here is a video of my talk about “Unleashing Creativity.”
So your dream fails, now what?
You have planted a seed for a dream. Maybe it is writing a book, or creating a new service or product, growing an enterprise, or planning to travel the world and getting paid for it.
It is impossible that everything we desire and dream of, and take action toward, will be a success. It is wise be driven by enthusiasm and a well thought-out plan to make it happen, and it is certainly nice to fantasize about, but reality has a habit of ensuring that not everything we start in life comes to fruition. Like it or not, accept it or not, it is simply the way it is.
You have likely heard it before: failure is nothing more than a lesson. When a plan of action goes awry, or no-one buys your product, or your financial house tumbles, there is something to learn from it. Often that lesson is learning to love ourselves more. Failure forces us to go into the heart and get reacquainted with its desires; to listen to its wishes, its truth. We get humbled and therefore possibly become a little kinder to others, as well as ourselves; and through the process we find our inner strength and resolve to pick up the pieces and forge ahead. Once we get a little stronger, we pull ourselves from the lower vibrations of survival mode and return to the higher vibrations of inspiration and enthusiasm. When we do, we begin to love ourselves a little more than ever before. And so, if we are learning to love ourselves more, how can we possibly go wrong by having failed a dream?
There is much stigma attached to failure in society. The question is: why? At its basic core it is fear; the fear of failure and making a mistake. Failure also means exposing our weaknesses. Generally speaking, failure may be viewed differently between men and women. For most men, who primarily place their values in career and financial areas of life, a business failure would likely be felt more deeply than if they failed at a romantic relationship. For women, who generally, but not always, place their values in beauty, family and social areas of life, a failed relationship may have more pain than if she failed in a business venture. These typically are the areas where men and women place their self-worth. So when those areas are impacted by a failure, self-worth often takes a hit.
In the bigger picture, failure serves society. Businesses learn to become more efficient. We hone in and focus on higher priority actions. Money belts get tightened. Industry gets far more innovative. Science and technology advance. Society simply evolves.
So what’s to fear?
If you have experienced a project, initiative or dream that has failed, here are some suggestions on how to handle it:
- Write down all the benefits for the failure – how has it served you? Find as many benefits as possible, until you exhaust the list.
- Write down how the failure has it served others. Find as many benefits as possible, again until you exhaust the list.
- Write down what would be the drawbacks to you if you did not fail – and the initiative succeeded.
- Pick one trusted friend and have a blatantly honest conversation about how you feel with regard to the failed initiative. Go deep inside and truly own your feelings. By sharing openly, you can release much of the negativity and get on with it.
- Find something to laugh about in the situation. Humour is often the best medicine.
If you enjoyed this article, I write about similar topics in my book The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity.
© Shannon Skinner 2012. All rights reserved.
VIDEO: When butter and egg hit the road: how one woman lives her dream of traveling the world
My theme this week is one of my greatest loves: travel. I get tremendous joy from exploring our magnificent planet. Most people I know also enjoy traveling; it is seemingly universal. It is one of the best ways to get inspired and to change routine.
While routine has its comforts, it becomes ho-hum boring, eventually leading to complacency and is, inevitably, a creativity killer; a topic I cover in my book, The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity. Whenever I need to shake it up, I pack a bag and go somewhere — anywhere. Travel is stimulating, often adventurous and exhilarating, and I usually meet interesting people. Travel can also be the best medicine for overcoming health issues such as depression, as author Jan Wong, who I recently interviewed, wrote about in her memoir.
Last weekend, I managed to get away to a friend’s cottage in Muskoka, a “cottage country” region north of Toronto. En route, I noticed the sign of a street called “Butter and Egg Road.” Now, this is not just any street. Coincidentally, it happens to be the name of the dream business of one of my recent guests on my show Extraordinary Women TV with Shannon Skinner.
Seeing the street sign so unexpectedly got me reflecting on my own dream: to travel the world doing what I love and getting paid to do it. In fact, my love for travel prompted me to start writing Shannon’s Travel Bag: Travel Tips for Women, an occasional article series providing tips, advice and inspiration for women travelers. Finding a way to get paid to travel is an ideal way to see the world and I truly admire those people who do it — and live their dreams.
One of those people is Ivy Ackerman, founder, Butter and Egg Road, a traveling supper club.
After a fateful trip to Paris, Ackerman was inspired to turn her love of travel, food, art and culture into a business. So she launched Butter and Egg Road, a private member’s club that brings together an international community of like-minded people to share their love of food, travel, art and culture during weekend social events in different cities across North America. The organization’s name is inspired from — you’ve got it — the name of that road in the Muskoka region that I drove past where the Ackerman family owns a cottage.
One of the goals of Butter and Egg Road is to introduce travelers to the art and culture, and the locals, of the particular city that is being featured. While Butter and Egg Road got its start in Toronto, Ackerman has been busy expanding the program in other cities, including Montreal, New York, Chicago and Miami; and soon San Francisco, LA and London.
Shortly after the interview, I got to experience first-hand a Butter and Egg Road event: a wine tasting conducted by a notable sommelier held in a quaint local art gallery in Toronto’s Leslieville neighborhood (I might add, the hottest evening of the summer). It was an intimate gathering of people from a variety of backgrounds (only a maximum of 12 is allowed at each event).
While sipping some superb wine, I met Toronto-based dating and relationship expert, Jen Kirsch, who I subsequently interviewed on the show. Kirsch, also a first-time attendee, was quick to point out that the Butter and Egg Road event was perfect for single women and men, whether they are locals or travelers visiting our city, who are looking to meet a potential partner.
Later that evening, there was a sit-down dinner, which was held at a local restaurant also in the same neighborhood. Unfortunately, I was not able to attend the dinner because it was sold out (too bad for me, but a good sign for Butter and Egg Road). Though I later learned it was a fun evening.
Through the world of Ivy Ackerman, a young woman who courageously follows her heart, I had the opportunity to see a different way to live the dream of traveling the world and getting paid to do it.
If you have a dream of traveling the world doing what you love, I invite you to check out my interview with Ivy Ackerman. In this in-depth conversation, Ackerman shares how she has blended her love of food, travel, art and culture, into a way of living her dream. She also discusses the heart and spirit of Butter and Egg Road, its significance, and where she envisions going with it in the future. I hope this interview inspires you to live your dream and see more of this magnificent planet. If you are single, maybe one of Butter and Egg Road’s events will lead you to your soul mate. You never know.
This article is cross-posted at www.HuffingtonPost.ca.
The Price of Success
A few years ago, I wrote a book about listening to the whisper of one’s heart. If there is one thing in my life that has driven me more than anything else, it is my commitment to listen to what my heart says and, when needed, finding the courage to act on those whisperings.
I would be kidding myself if I thought, even for a moment, that I have mastered listening to my heart. But, I stay true to my inner guidance. Sometimes when I get caught up in fear and stress — like today — I need to refer back to my own book to remind myself of the knowledge and tools that I have acquired.
Today, I was reminded that success has a price. I wrote about this in The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity. Here is an excerpt:
The Price of Success
Every goal we set out to achieve has a price tag attached. There is a price to pay for everything in life. Success has its price. Having a family has its price. A life of riches and glamour has its price. Living from paycheque to paycheque has its price. Self-employment has its price, but so does working for a corporation. Whatever lifestyle we choose to embrace has its price. Forget the free lunch. Nothing in life is free. There is a price to pay for everything, even if it is a hidden cost.
Your dream has its price.
When we look at the big picture, we must determine if we are willing to pay the price to follow our desires. For instance, perhaps you want to start a second career – your dream career – but it may mean taking a salary cut to enable you to dedicate the necessary time. How much is it worth to you? If it means having less money in the short-term it may be worth it. However, if it means financial hardships for years to come forcing you to change your lifestyle, which may have a negative impact on your family, you have a bigger price to pay. Is it still worth it? In the greater scheme of things, if the answer is yes — great! You are living on purpose – zipping down the path you are meant to. If the answer is no, it may be time to revisit what gives meaning to your life.
Energy flows where attention goes. If you put all your time and energy into a relationship, you will not have enough time or energy for your creative projects. If you spend all your waking hours working on a creative project, your relationship will suffer because you are not able to put enough energy into it. However, if you share your passion with your mate, you may inspire them to do something in line with their heart. Or by being caught up in your creative project, it will allow your mate to have more time to spend with other family members or friends.
Your creativity has its price.
If you are in a high state of creative flow and work night and day on creating your masterpiece, your social life will pay the price. Maybe to you it is a small price to pay for creating something from your heart. There will always be social life to experience, but if you have that urge to put your energy into your creation, or making your dream come true, you may decide that putting your social life on hold may be worth it (at least for the short term). This is a decision you may be faced with.
If you are working madly day and night on your creation, your physical health may pay the price. At some point, you will be faced with making difficult choices. If you are afraid to make decisions that will enable you to follow your creative desires, that decision alone has its price. For instance, by not listening to your whispering heart, you may become depressed and experience health problems, or relationship problems.
What price are you willing to pay to follow your creative dream, and live with joy and fulfillment? What price are you willing to pay if you do not follow your dream?
Reframing “Success”
From the beginning of time, people around the world have given up something to follow their dreams. These people have achieved success, regardless of whether it made them financially rich or not. They are successful because at the very least they overcame self-doubt. Ultimately, they lived their lives and followed a dream, no matter the outcome. They paid the price for success and, I hazard to guess, if you had the opportunity to ask them they would likely say it was worthwhile.
Fame has its price tag, too. Movie star Marlon Brando was known to have remarked, “Fame is a curse.” I think any celebrity, whether a Hollywood actor, musician, business tycoon, writer and the like, pays the biggest price of all for their creative dreams. To be in the public eye constantly must be extremely taxing, especially in those moments of public humiliation, regardless of whether it is a relationship break-up, drug problem or being slammed by the critics for a poor performance. While glamorous to many people on the outside, being in the limelight must be grueling. Consider superstars Michael Jackson, Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise, Martha Stewart, and the former “king of rock and roll,” Elvis Presley. Think of the unrelenting international media attention their lives have generated. I can only imagine how difficult it is for families and friends of superstars, and how it must impact their own physical and emotional health.
If you dream of being famous, or are infatuated with the notion, consider the price you will have to pay once you reach that destination. Fame will inevitably have a big price tag attached. For some people fame makes them want to shrivel up and become small. Others thrive off it. What’s more, you cannot tell one from the other based on their public personas. It is only in the intimacy of their private lives that this may be obvious (unless, of course, they go public about their feelings). Think of the superstars who took their own lives, such as Marilyn Monroe and Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain. To the external world, these people had it all – fame, success, glamour — but really they were feeling quite opposite in their hearts. To see them in public one would not have known they did not feel successful as a person.
The search for fame for fame’s sake may be a way of numbing poor self-worth and is not a balanced state to be in. Many people seek fame to make them be whole and important. If people are not feeling balanced before being famous, fame will inevitably spin them off their centres even more. Wanting to express creative genius is a worthy cause that may lead to fame as a by-product — this is a healthy state for us. Otherwise, people who want fame to make them feel better about themselves often crash when they discover that fame, alas, does not bring happiness.
And so, if you dream of fame, ask yourself if you are willing to pay the enormous price attached to it. But first ask yourself why you want to be famous to begin with.
In terms of being successful in life, what is important is to define success not by society’s values or by comparison to other people, or whether you achieve fame, but to define success according to your own values.
Success truly is a matter of the perspective you choose to take. If you decide you are going to fail, guess what…you fail. If you decide you are going to achieve, guess what…you achieve.
The key is to make decisions not out of self-doubt, fear, guilt, resentment, anger, jealousy or desperation, but make decisions out of love for yourself and what inspires your whispering heart. When you take this perspective, you experience a life of joy and meaning. This is true success.
With regard to your dreams, chances are the satisfaction and joy you glean from the creative process alone is juicy enough of a reward. The bottom line is this: you cannot lose! Regardless of whether a creative project gets finished or an idea goes to market or a manuscript gets published, you have much to gain by just enjoying the creative process. Throughout the process, you learn about yourself and feel joy while exploring your creativity and living the life you choose.
This is when you are successful.
We make a living by what we get.
We make a life by what we give.
— Winston Churchill
Give This a Whirl:
What is your definition of success? Write a paragraph or two about what success means to you.
Excerpt from The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity, by Shannon Skinner.
copyright © Shannon Skinner 2012
