INTERVIEW: Shannon Skinner interviews Judith Jenya, humanitarian and founder, Global Children’s Organization
I met award-winning humanitarian, Judith Jenya, in March 2012, in Mexico, where she was speaking at the International Women’s Day event, We Move Forward 2012. I was deeply moved by her compassion and courage. Her stories of working with traumatized children of war, and her own personal challenges — from a serious health issue to being on a airplane while it was shot at in Sarajevo — tugged my heartstrings.
The former attorney and California native was the first to arrange adoptions of Russian orphans with families in the United States. While in war-torn Croatia, she had created a safe haven for children. She ran similar programs in Northern Ireland for Protestant and Catholic children during the “Troubles.” She created programs for children living amid gang violence in Los Angeles, and worked with children in Kosovo, Cyprus, and the Middle East. She was an advisor to Queen Rania of Jordan in the creation of the country’s first Child Abuse Center. She has been a mediator and consultant on conflict-resolution to many organizations.
Judith has been featured in the magazines Biography and TIME, and appeared on ABC, CBS, NBC, The Today Show, The Roseanne Show and CNN.
A life-threatening illness made her change course and fulfill a lifelong dream with a move to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, where she is presently a full-time artist and writer, and, now in her early 70s, lives with her new husband.
Check out what she has to say in the following interview …
What is your heart’s deepest desire?
My heart’s deepest desire is to live in a peaceful world, free from hatred, intolerance, war, killing and suffering. To live in love and contentment with my chosen partner, Mark, and feel daily gratitude and fullness of living rightly, justly, with love and compassion, accepting all and being surrounded by love and beauty.
What was the moment you knew in your heart what your life’s mission is?
In April 1993, I made my first trip to Croatia and visited for the first time refugee camps and displaced person’s centers, as well as orphanages.
There, I met a young girl named Nada who reminded me of a girl, also named Nada, which means ‘Hope,’ who had shared my bed when she and her family arrived in California after being in a Nazi concentration camp and then a displaced persons center. The family were Yugoslav Jews who somehow had survived. After visiting an orphanage camp in Split, Croatia, where I was challenged to do something the children actually needed, I decided to create a summer camp to give kids a “break from the war.” Flying over the beautiful islands of the Dalmatian coast of Croatia, I thought of my island home in Hawaii and how islands have always been sanctuaries, and had a vision of creating a safe haven — a place of safety and love — where children of this war could be “restored to childhood.” In August 1993, with no backing or formal government, UN, or other assistance, we held the first “Island to Island” camp on Badija island. Badija means ‘sanctuary’ and we were in a restored 15th century Franciscan monastery that had been a sanctuary for centuries.
I had been raised with a heritage of knowing about oppression, holocaust, outrage, stories of revolution and the need to flee one’s home and how people in my own family acted in similar situations at a different time and place. All of that was present when I was confronted by a new reality of horror in Europe and the words ”never again” kept ringing in my ears, and I knew it was my time to take action.
As someone who has spent time in war or conflict zones, what was your biggest fear during that time – and how did you get beyond it?
When I was threatened, I usually felt anger, that these guys were bullies and trying to bully me. Then I took some sort of action. For me, being proactive enables me to get beyond fear. When there was actual physical danger, like a bomb, I did what was the most prudent thing to do at the time: following the lead of the residents. I also worried that my work was irrelevant and wouldn’t really matter. I was alone and always facing people saying: “it won’t work, it won’t matter, you can’t do that and it will do no good.”
What is your greatest gift to the world?
My greatest gift to the world is engaging in compassionate action and active compassion, and linking the two. I believe that small actions matter, what I do matters and creating beauty matters. I also believe strongly in Tikkun Olam, the Jewish teaching that each of us has an obligation during our lifetime to make the shattered world a bit more whole and complete, to “repair the world.”
What is the answer to healing the planet’s most traumatized by war and conflict: children?
To heal the children of war is a lifetime’s work. To begin, each child must experience hope for the future. A caring person who gives them shelter and care can begin the process. The children need someone who offers then hope for the future, and shows the child this possibility. I like to explore each child’s personal strengths or resilience and work from there.
Can one person really make a difference in these kinds of war or conflict situations?
One person can make a difference person-by-person, not in terms of the political situation or institutions. For me, being from Hawaii, with no historical or family ties to the area, but choosing to be there to help them, made a big difference to the people I worked with. The situation on the ground does not change militarily or politically by my actions. But, for individual children, one person’s caring action and love does make a difference. And the recipient person can multiply the effect. One person caring, taking the time, putting themselves at risk when they don’t have to, makes a difference.
They can make a difference by changing the atmosphere, saying ‘no’ to violence as a way to resolving disputes, providing an alternative to the prevailing mode.
Of all the influential people you have connected with, who stands out in your mind as the most memorable – and why?
General Jovan Divak, who led the defense of Sarajevo through the siege, who was himself a Bosnian Serb and the primary target during the war of the Serbs who attacked his city. He was the founder of an organization to help children who lost parents after the war, and enabled them to go to school and create a new community. He is was a true hero and humanitarian.
Today, as a painter and writer, where do you draw your creative inspiration?
As a painter, I draw my inspiration from the beauty and color that surrounds me in San Miguel, and in nature. As a writer, I look inward to memories, feelings, incidents and my current life shared with my new love and husband, Mark.
If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?
I would not change my involvement with children in the Balkans, Northern Ireland, L.A. and working during the war. Or my involvement with gang violence. Or finding homes for orphan children from Russia. What I would change is spending more time with my own kids during their adolescence, when I was busy being a lawyer and the structures of my life were falling apart.
Is there anything left undone that you feel you need to finish?
I feel a need to write my memoir, publish more of my poetry and, most importantly, share a contented life with Mark. In one sense, everything is unfinished; my work is a piece in the ongoing puzzle of humanity of finding the scattered particles of light and goodness, and putting them back in the newly repaired shattered vessel that is life in this universe. My own children and grandchildren have lives that are unfinished, as is mine.
Is there one child who deeply impacted your life?
One child who deeply impacted my life is Sergei, a 7 year-old orphan from Russia, who was the first child I met and then placed for adoption. At the orphanage, before I was shown Sergei, the director of the orphanage told me: “No one will ever want this child because he is mixed race.” I then saw the cutest little boy who looked like half the children in Hawaii, where I lived and worked. I was able to find him a wonderful family and home.
Eleven years later, a story that was written by his adopted mother, under her pen name, for Time magazine about my work with children living with gang violence in L.A., brought us together again by phone. When we discovered she was the adoptive mother of Sergei, she asked if he could possibly volunteer to work with the kids in L.A. When I interviewed him, he said: “None of those kids will want me as their counsellor.” He became the most beloved volunteer/counsellor of the camp and was wonderful with little boys, since he could emphasize so well. He is now a young father with his own son in New Mexico.
Whenever I hear that an idea — or person — is unacceptable because of some trait, I think of Sergei. It reminds me of people telling me, “You can’t do that because —.” It was always untrue.
What is your key to success?
I think the keys for me are: being optimistic, tuning into my heart and acting from there. Also being resilient, persistent and never accepting what others say are limits.
© Shannon Skinner 2012
Avalon Reef Club, Isla Mujeres: hotel review
Shannon's Travel Bag: travel tips for women
SHANNON’S TRAVEL BAG: travel tips for women
Shannon Skinner visits the Avalon Reef Club, Isla Mujeres, Mexico that’s an island unto itself.
I have visited Isla Mujeres, Mexico on three separate occasions over the past two years. It has a wonderful energy and beauty that keeps calling me back. One of the other reasons I love returning is because the locals are so “sunny” — they smile A LOT. It was no exception with the staff at the Avalon Reef Club Isla Mujeres, whose sunny dispositions and wide-open smiles did not disappoint.
Photo: Aerial view of the resort located on an enchanting private islet that is attached to Isla Mujeres by a small wooden bridge. I felt like I had my own private island. Courtesy Avalon Reef Club
Located on the secluded island of Isla Mujeres, (“Woman Island”), just a 20 mins. ferry ride from Cancun, the Avalon Reef Club, a luxury hotel, sits on its own private islet. After arriving on Isla Mujeres, I took a taxi from the pier to the hotel, which took all of five minutes through the town. We drove along a small wooden bridge across a shallow channel of water to get to the property. Once there, I felt like I had my own private island. Given the name, it is as enchanting as one might expect.
Surrounded by the Caribbean Sea, the property offers a spectacular view of the water, amazing sunsets, enjoyment of powdery beaches, rejuvenation of the spirit and romance for those looking for a getaway.
Photo: spacious and modern lobby, complete with a billiards table; courtesy Avalon Reef Club
The amenities are ideal for weddings, retreats, seminars and conferences. I had attended the We Move Forward 2012 International Women’s Day three-day conference (March 8-10 2012) that was held in the property’s event centre. I attended representing my web TV show, Extraordinary Women TV with Shannon Skinner, that was the event’s media partner. The event centre itself was located outside the main building, and is circular in shape and bright with lots of windows. (Considering Isla Mujeres means the “Women Island,” I thought it was the perfect setting for such an event.) We were well taken care of by the staff. So if you run retreats or seminars for women, I highly recommend this venue.
Photo: the event centre; courtesy Avalon Reef Club
The hotel offers standard hotel rooms and suites, and also Spanish-style studios that have a few alcoves and a gazebo situated next to the water with a breathtaking view. All rooms in the tower have an ocean view. My room was a standard one. It had everything I needed for my five night stay, including the soothing sound of the rolling waves underneath my window. For small groups, the studios might be an ideal choice.
To me, a hotel’s staff can make or break a stay. The staff at the Avalon Reef Club were friendly, courteous and helpful. In fact, one of the staff at the desk graciously went beyond the line of duty to help me book transportation to the airport from the ferry.
Photo: the Spanish-style studios along the water; courtesy Avalon Reef Club
There are a few restaurant/bar options on-site offering tasty Mexican and international food, although the service was a bit tardy. However, I was in no rush so my patience was not tested.
The hotel’s natural swimming pool looked so inviting, though I did not have time to dip my toe in it, let alone enjoy it, sadly.
The only drawback about this venue to me is that it is quiet at night (especially if you enjoy nightlife). But, depending on your values, this may be a benefit. The hotel is only a 10 mins. walk to bars and restaurants, and the benefit is you can retreat to peace and quiet after a night out.
Photo: the beaches are sugar-white and feel great under the feet, especially on early morning walks; courtesy Avalon Reef Club
The hotel manager, Diana Arriaga, speaks English and is highly resourceful and eager to ensure you enjoy your stay.
For solo women: consider not wearing the wristband that the hotel supplies and instead keeping it in your wallet and showing it when you are required to, rather than walking around the town with it on your wrist. Just be aware the town is small and the wristband does identify where you are staying.
And a note about safety: while there is fear about traveling to Mexico, I have felt perfectly safe traveling solo as a woman to this island on three occasions now. When I asked many of the locals why they live on the island, they all said they felt “safe.” A contributing factor, I learned, is the presence of the Mexican navy base.
Price From: $95-120+ Cdn (inquire about rates and specials)
Who goes? Singles, couples and families.
Style/Character: beach-resort, bed & breakfast/European plan
Service/Staff: Friendly, resourceful, helpful, English-speaking staff – and they smiled a lot.
Rooms: Standard, suites and studios.
Food/Drink: A few restaurant and bar options.
Value for Money: yes
Women traveling solo-friendly: Yes. Consider not wearing the wristband and instead keeping it on your wallet and showing it when you are required to. Inquire about single supplements for hotel rooms.
Family-friendly: yes
Amenities: great for holding weddings, seminars, retreats or conferences, especially for women. There is an on-site spa/salon.
Disabled Access: yes
Local shopping: Lots of shopping is walking distance, in the town’s center.
Where to eat: In the town’s centre, check out Como-No (“Why Not?”), an inviting restaurant/bar that is owned/operated by Canadian Penny Deming, which has a terrific roof patio and entertainment. Barlito offers healthy, inexpensive food. La Luna is a spacious bar/restaurant (Canadian owned/operated).
What not to miss: The Mayan temple to the goddess Ixchel, on the south end of the island.
Nightlife: Check out La Luna Bar and Como-No (rooftop patio) in the town’s centre.
Reservations: http://avalonvacations.com/hotels/avalon_reef_isla_mujeres/
Location: north beach, Isla Mujeres, Mexico.
© Shannon Skinner 2012
I, the Reluctant Speaker
I recall reading some years ago that there are three fears in life:
1. Fear of public speaking
2. Fear of dying, and
3. Fear of dying while public speaking
Cheeky, I know. But, this is exactly how I felt for many years – until recently.
As a professional communicator, I have spent two decades in the field of public relations. I also spent those twenty years hiding from professional public speaking. A big reason was fear (“terror” is a more accurate word), but not all: I simply did not enjoy getting up in front of people and being the centre of attention. Period.
Now, anytime I tell someone about this, they look at me like I have 8 horns growing out of my head. Apparently, I come across as being extroverted (like extroverts are supposed to enjoy public speaking), but, truthfully, inside I feel more like an introvert.
On my recent trip to Isla Mujeres, Mexico, I had some time to reflect (not much, though, as it was packed with activity, plus I got a horrible chest cold). I believe my fear of public speaking stemmed from my first public address in elementary school when I stood up in front of the class and completely forgot my speech. As I stood there as blank as a sheet of paper, the entire class burst into laughter (hey, I would too!). Feeling like the village idiot, I vowed to never let that happen again.
So, I hid from it.
Well, fast-forward to my twenties and thirties, when I worked in the PR agency world for a number of years, I would find any excuse I could to get out of doing major presentations because I was far too nervous (I would call in sick, or conveniently have a scheduling conflict, or come up with some other excuse). I would have rather hammered toothpicks underneath my nails.
In later years, I took a teaching position at a university with one goal in mind: to get over my fear. It helped, but I still did not enjoy getting up in front of people to speak.
So, I still hid from it.
In my relatively new role as an internet TV talk show host, I had to get over my fear of being in front of the camera. Since launching my new career, I continually get asked to speak to groups, on a variety of topics. And I’ve been saying “yes” – willingly.
I realized my reluctance over the years did not have as much to do with speaking in front of a group as it did about having the right topic to speak about. I just needed the right topic and, vavoom…
I recall one of my teachers saying “if you have a gift, it is your responsibility to share it with the world” (thank you, John Demartini). When I got clear that I had a message — listen to your heart’s desires — I realized that this one of the most important aspects of life to me: to listen and follow my heart’s desires — no matter what. And because that is the thing I want deeply, it is also the greatest challenge I have been given. Why? So I strive to learn…and share…
Even having written a book on the subject: “The Whispering Heart: Your Inner Guide to Creativity,” I still have not yet mastered it.
But what I do know, and what I have a lot of practice doing, is striving to follow my heart, getting over the fear to do so, and finding the tools to help me get back on my path when I veer off.
I believe I have been given two gifts: 1. Ability to communicate, and 2. A message worthy of sharing. I also believe it is my responsibility to share the wisdom I have gleaned, including the mistakes and failures. Besides, it’s all a lesson.
When I attended the We Move Forward 2012 International Women’s Day event, I gave a few introductory words and shared a story worthy of hearing, which I share here in this video (below).
My point is this: if you have a fear of public speaking, just know this: so do I. If I can do it, so can you.
I, the Reluctant Speaker….
© Shannon Skinner 2012
special report International Women’s Day We Move Forward 2012, Isla Mujeres, Mexico
I recently attended the We Move Forward 2012 International Women’s Day event, which took place March 8-10, 2012 on Isla Mujeres (“Woman Island”), Mexico. I asked a number of the speakers and participants this question: What does it mean to be a woman?
Here’s what they had to say:
The wind proved to be somewhat of a challenge for recording (hey, it’s an island after all!).
Most of the footage was shot on location at the Avalon Reef Club Isla Mujeres, and also at the island’s north end at the Mayan ruins of the temple Ixchel.
My show, Extraordinary Women TV with Shannon Skinner, is the proud media partner.
Moving forward, using all my breath…
This past week, I was in Isla Mujeres, Mexico, attending the We Move Forward 2012 International Women’s Day event. The reason this event was so significant is its location: Isla Mujeres means “Woman Island” in Spanish. The event brought together dozens of women from across Canada, the United States, Mexico and other destinations, to hear some incredible speakers and storytellers, share their visions, and celebrate being a woman.
I attended representing “Extraordinary Women TV with Shannon Skinner,” the event’s media partner. When I first heard about this event several months ago, I wanted to be involved, since I had been to Isla Mujeres and fell in love with it, and resonated with the concept of bringing women together for IWD.
The event, which had a spiritual retreat flavour, took place at the wonderful Avalon Reef Club resort and focused on the central theme: moving forward.
(photo: courtesy of Avalon Reef Club Isla Mujeres, Mexico)
It was a success! So many people involved deserve a special thanks — far too many to be named individually in one blog post. So I will say KUDOS to ALL involved. And one big round of applause for Janeen Halliwell, who conceived and spearheaded the event.
(photo: Janeen Halliwell)
The event kicked off with cocktails at CoMoNo (“Why Not?”), owned and operated by Canadian Penny Deming. Each day started with a mindful movement session conducted by wonderful practitioners, followed by a yummy, healthy breakfast (sponsored by Barlito’s), then a day filled with speakers and storytellers.The featured speakers really touched hearts – thanks to: Monica Parker, Kristin Crowe, Judith Jenya and Elizabeth Mahon.
The facilitators were amazing: Janeen Halliwell, Christie Andrus and Cathy & Ed McKenzie.
(photo: Janeen and Katie, closing ceremony dinner)
The storytellers added another layer of depth and entertainment – kudos to: Alison Sawyer Current, Molly Fisher, Pamela Maddox, and Lorna Tychostup. One of the highlights was a special ceremony conducted by Mayan Elder, Mary Coba, who took us through a traditional Mayan ceremony, honouring the earth and elements.
(photo: Mary Coba, Mayan elder, conducting traditional Mayan ceremony)
(photo: the room where the event was held at the Avalon Reef Club Isla Mujeres)
There was a fiesta in the town square, dancing and a wonderful closing ceremony and dinner. And, of course, a little time to enjoy the sights.
(photo: the waves are soothing)
Hats off to the Avalon Reef Club for outstanding service, and especially the hotel’s general manager, Diana Arriaga.
Many women had breakthroughs during the event. I gleaned some of my own personal insights that I will share over the next while, but in the meantime, here’s something to whet your appetite:
1. It’s not always about business, even when it is business: Even when we attend events to network and potentially land business for ourselves, sometimes the gift you get from a business association may not business-related at all. Sometimes it is as simple as an idea of a way of life for yourself, or a new friend.
2. Everyone is needed: No matter what your background is, what clothing size you wear, what preferences you have, or what job or career you have, everyone has a role in society and we need everyone to make it happen.
3. Sometimes you just need to rest: Unfortunately, I caught a nasty cold mid-way through the week on Isla Mujeres. I did something unusual while traveling: I rested, so I could let my body heal.
Overall, my personal take-away from the event is this: I’m moving forward, using all my breath (as sung by Modern English) … I have a bigger dream and vision for myself, and having attended this event and gleaned some extraordinary insights, I will put all my energy into those forward steps.
Give this a whirl: so what steps will you take this week to move forward with your dream?
Stay tuned for more to come in the series.
© Shannon Skinner 2012
What it means to be a w-o-m-a-n
Welcome to my new blog! This site is “under construction” and I decided not to wait to share my voice and words, so here it is…
As I prepare to attend next week’s We Move Forward 2012 International Women’s Day event on Isla Mujeres (“Woman Island”), Mexico, I find myself reflecting on what it means to be a “woman.”
Perhaps the meaning is unique for every woman. Or, maybe there is an underlying meaning shared by every woman on the planet. Perhaps it simply comes down to individual values.
One dictionary definition of a woman is this: an adult female human. Somehow, though, that does not capture the “essence” of what a woman is, or how she shows up in the world.
It is far more than that.
Yesterday, my niece had a baby, which makes me a “Great Auntie.” I’m excited to have this new introduction into our family – so special. Let’s face it, giving birth is an experience unique to the female gender. So, certainly having the ability to have a baby is very womanly. My niece is a young woman and perhaps what she will deem “being a woman” will be defined by this experience; only time will tell.
But what about women who choose not to, or simply can’t, have children? Are they any less womanly than a female who chooses to procreate?
No.
And is the stay-at-home mom any more womanly than the career-type who is determined to be fully independent, run a business or have a high-powered job, and maybe travel the world, regardless of whether she has a family? Or vice versa?
I don’t think so.
Being a woman is not just about looks or our physique either, although, hey, the anatomy type is certainly a criteria.
Women are: girlfriends, wives, mothers, daughters, granddaughters, grandmothers, sisters, nieces and aunts – and Great Aunts. They are also healers and nurturers. They not only create a family, they hold a family together. A community is created by women. Women are the glue that holds our society together.
I’m looking forward to the We Move Forward 2012 event, celebrating women, on the “island of women.” There is a fantastic line-up of speakers, storytellers, healers – and women from all over coming together to form “community.” My talk show, Extraordinary Women TV with Shannon Skinner is the proud media partner, and I also look forward to blogging about my experience – and insights. So, stay tuned!
In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this video:
Bette Midler singing “I’m a Woman”
© Shannon Skinner 2012
