The memory box
Bob trying out his doggy stroller while it was being assembled
Shannon’s Sunday Stories is a series of personal reflections and musings on life.
How do we best keep memories of our loved ones alive?
I have been working on a project compiling photos for albums and a photobook of my beloved sheepdog, Bob. He passed away last January at the age of nearly 15. Until now, all my images of him have been stored on my computers.
Going through the process has made me realize how much in our modern digital world we so easily, both consciously and mindlessly, capture images with our phones. I have thousands of photos of my dog and I have been pouring over them, as if I am trying to preserve every waking moment I had with him. So far, I have printed hundreds of photos for albums and then with my favourite shots am creating a photobook.
Bob
Then I will be putting them into a special memory box that will also contain other precious keepsake items to honour Bob. I’ll call it the Bob Box.
This might not seem like a big deal for some people, but many of us are storing our digital images without a serious thought about what would happen if they were lost, or computers/ drives stolen, or when they will eventually disintegrate, as they are apt to over time.
Nonetheless, it is a healing project for me.
The old adage “time heals” is not actually true. Time does not heal. Love does. Love heals with time. It is how we open our hearts and what we do with that time that is key.
Bob and me, a few years ago. I love this photo.
In my last Sunday Stories, I wrote about my daily walks to heal my grief and my new interest in refining my photography skills. In addition to my ongoing reflective writing, I’ve been slowly working on this memory box project. Looking at my dog’s photos is still painful to my heart, but the pain is lessening. He was like my kid, just in a furry suit. It has taken me a year to find the wherewithal to properly honour his life and memory. I am blessed to have so many images of him.
And it has me wondering: before the invention of photography and the moving picture, what was it like for people to keep the memory or image alive of their dead loved ones, particularly what they looked like? The first known photograph in history was taken in 1826/7. Then it would be the late 1800s when the moving picture would be invented. Of course there were paintings and drawings, and other art, for the rich and famous, but how did the ancients before that feel when a loved one died and they would not have a way to remember what they looked like? Or sound like?
I recall travelling through northern Thailand where I had spent time with the hill tribes. They did not have cameras or anything tech. The tribal people used the water of a pond to see their images reflecting back to them in the water. Otherwise, they would not have known what they themselves looked like.
Today, thankfully we have photos and video that immortalize our loved ones; and audio, too.
An urn with Bob’s ashes, for the Box Box
A few years ago, I recorded casual interviews with my grandmothers so I could remember the sound of their voices. Now that they have passed, I am so grateful that I did that. I think of my grandfathers, who passed away many years ago, and try to remember the sound of their voices, which I had not recorded, but now I wish I had.
Audrey Hepburn, WikiMedia commons
Think of famous dead celebrities whose photos in magazines and moving pictures are frozen in time. They will forever seem alive to us in our perception. Just think of Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Munroe, Humphrey Bogart and even more modern celebrities like Anthony Bourdain and comedian Robin Williams; they still seem as though they are with us.
And yet, when I look at the photos and videos, nothing seems real.
Gratitude is the heart’s memory. – French proverb.
Shannon Skinner is a TV/radio host and producer, author, speaker and write and wine writer.
